Somewhere in my youth or childhood

Today is a day for reflecting.  Something inside is tugging at my heart compelling me to do an inventory of whats inside.  In doing so, I began to think about the holidays and family traditions.  You know it seems the holidays come quicker each year and with each year comes some fun surprises.  Everyone loves a surprise, right?  Getting that gift that you thought you'd never receive.  Having a visit from a long lost family member or friend.  But for me it is the holiday traditions that seems to mean the most.  If you tell any family member that I have my tree up they most likely will be able to tell you the colors of that tree, because each year it is blue and silver, a tradition that my daddy started years ago.  Friends and family also know that baking and being in the kitchen is one of my favorite things to do this time of year.  In part, because I so dislike the cold and nothing warms up the house better than a 350 degree oven baking those Christmas cookies that Byron loves so very much.  The snowman traditionally come out of hiding on the day after Thanksgiving and yes, they have made their annual appearance as well.  I absolutely love the holidays and cannot wait for them to be in full swing!  

Speaking of the holidays and those gifts that are neatly wrapped under the tree,  I begin thinking of the gifts I received as a child.  The ones that really brought the pure joy of Christmas out in me!  There was the year that I received my very first Colts jersey.  No, not the Indianapolis Colts but the Baltimore Colts.  Yes, it's true I was a colts fan before they came to Indy and I was absolutely in love with Bert Jones in 1973.  Do the math, I was 7 years old in 1973!  Today, I still love my Colts, though it has been a tough season!  Then there was the year of the "moving box".  I think I was about 10 or so and Christmas morning I woke to find a box under the tree with suspicious holes in it and when I touched it...it moved!  I remember squealing with delight when I opened it to find "Bess"!  My very own New Zealand red rabbit!  Bess was my pride and joy and was the beginning of my long love affair with bunnies!  There were Christmas's with clothes, and ones with handmade sweaters.  Those are the ones I remember and cherish the most.  Funny, there were no video games, though they really weren't out then!   Atari came on the scene in the late 70's and I had I asked for one there most likely would have been one under the tree but I never asked.  We learned to play with things outside.  Like the blue bicycle that I got one Christmas and I remember vividly my Dad riding it out of the Sears store!  Yes, we played outside and played with things that we made into toys!  Some of the best toys, weren't toys at all!  Kinda like when my girls were little, you could give them the best toy ever and they would play with the box!  That sort of thing is what we did too.  Jump ropes were used for more than jumping.  Jump ropes could be used to tie up the "bad guy" in a game of "Cops and Robbers", they were also great as a tow rope between that blue bicycle from Sears and a plastic baby buggy full of stuffed animals and dolls.  There was always a ball around.  Footballs, baseballs, basketballs,  sometimes they got used for the appropriate sport but often they were used for dodge balls, soccer balls or even as something to just stand and bounce forever!  I had a green skateboard that I rode EVERYWHERE!  I even had to visit the roller rink in Rensselaer to buy the little wheel barrings to go in the wheels because I would wear them out.  That skateboard was used as my primary mode of transportation even more than the bicycle!  But it was also used as a pillow to lay my head on while I laid on the ground and starred at the stars.  My odd usage of things continued on even as I was older.  I had to explain to my mother why I had to buy 3 new laundry baskets my freshmen year of college.  I certainly didn't wear them out doing laundry but I did tear them up sledding down the hills of East Tennessee.  Laundry baskets and trays from the cafeteria were the "sleds" of choice!  

I guess where this is all heading is I am thankful for the memories I have.  Someone recently pointed out to me that I had a great childhood.  They even admitted that they wished they had been a part of such a wonderful family.  At the time, it all seemed so normal, so natural and so very boring to me.  But now, looking back, I see that it was truly great and that I was blessed with the best family ever!  So now, work hard at making those family traditions of your own with your kids and grandkids.  Someday they will write a blog and remember what a great childhood they had too! 

Behind...Again.

I was reminded recently by a friend that my blog was a little or a lot behind.  I really don't know how I manage to get so far behind but I do.
First let me catch you up on the wedding of Ashley and Tony! September 24, 2011 our oldest daughter married the love of her life Tony Klueg.  It was a day that we had anticipated for well over a year and a half and actually I guess we knew it was coming for about 5 years.  It was a perfectly miserable fall day in southern Indiana.  Complete with wind, rain, clouds and chilly temps but it was the most BEAUTIFUL day for a wedding.  Everything was picture perfect and went better than any of us ever imagined.  Ashley was an absolutely stunning bride and you couldn't help but notice that Tony knew he was marrying his very own princess.  I will say he was lucky that her daddy actually handed her over at the alter because that was a very difficult thing for him to do (and for me to watch!)  We know that Tony loves her with every ounce of his being and we are grateful to be blessed with an amazing son-in-law.  Since the wedding the kids have taken the next step and have purchased their very own home.  A beautiful 3 bedroom, 2 bath all brick ranch home on the north side of Evansville.  The purchase actually puts them closer to us by oh, about 10 miles!  But at least it is closer and not further away!  We will be going to their home the first of January to celebrate Christmas and Ashley's birthday there since they cannot come home for the Christmas holiday.

We were blessed to have both Tiede girls and Tony home for Thanksgiving which was so completely wonderful!  Lena has been a huge help in the kennel and we have been able to spend some quality time together.  Christmas shopping began on Saturday after Thanksgiving as we opted out of the black Friday mayhem!   Today she and I shopped and made quite a nice dent in the Christmas list!  It has been a nice long holiday weekend spent with family and friends and anticipating the upcoming holiday season.

Remembering all the things that I have to be thankful for I am not sure how I could be blessed any more than I already am.  Somehow, the Lord continues to find ways to give me more.  I only hope that I continue to be worthy of those blessings.  So here I am once again hoping to keep a more steady blog and thanking you for continuing to follow along.  Sometimes all I need is a little nudge to get me back on track!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Be Blessed!

K

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

My blogging continues to be a little behind but I want to take a moment and reflect on September 11, 2001.

I recall the day so well in my mind and the events that happened shortly thereafter.    That day started out just like all the other week days.  I got up and headed off to Woodlawn Elementary where I was a para-educator for a visually impaired kindergarten student.  I had playground duty that morning and I recall thinking that I was lucky because it was a BEAUTIFUL morning in Indiana.  We headed outside and the wind had that crisp, clean fall bite.  The sky was beyond blue and the grass had a heavy dew on.  The kids were burning energy, completely unaware of the events that were taking place that would change their lives forever.  A young teacher came to the playground and told me that the principal wanted me inside.  "What did I do" was the thought that crossed my mind.  I headed inside and walked in the office to see Gloria standing in front of the tv.  A plane just hit the world trade center she said.  The news cut back to Katie Couric and I remember her saying to her producers "is this an instant replay we are watching"?  Then I recall the horror on her face as she realized that no it wasn't and indeed a second plane had struck the second tower.  I think it was at that point that we all realized that this was not a horrific accident but something much bigger.  It was an act of terrorism on our homeland.  How did this happen?  Not here.  Not in America, land of the free home of the brave.  But it did happen and it's mark was made that day, like an irreversible tattoo, it scared us all in some way, shape or form.

We watched as the news broke about the other two aircraft's.  One that hit the pentagon and one headed to the White House but was diverted and thanks to the heroism of it's passengers, it crashed into an empty field in Pennsylvania.  Later we would learn that one of the hero's on that plane was named Todd Beamer.  Mr. Beamer orchestrated the take over of the hijackers and gave the command "Let's Roll" when it was time to put the plan in action.  All the passengers and the hijackers perished that day but because of the passengers unselfishness they saved the lives of countless others.  We watched as the twin towers that once had stood so tall and beautiful against that crisp fall sky came tumbling to the ground.  We stood silent and still as firemen, with no regard for their own safety ran into those buildings, some time and time again until they ultimately lost their lives when the buildings fell.  It was a day that I will never forget.  I think a portrait of the word "HERO" was etched into my mind that day.  The bible says in John 15:13 that "greater love hath no man than this, that he lays down his own life for a friend".  Those firefighters laid down their lives for complete strangers.  That is a hero by my standards.  Made me look at all firefighters in a different light.  They are someone's husband, someone's son, someone's brother, and possibly someone's daddy and yet they give 110% everytime they are called out.  Truly amazing people who do God's work.  Thank you FDNY and any and all firefighters in America today.

Let us not forget to be grateful for the blessings that we have simply because we live in America.  Remembering that freedom isn't free.  It's paid for daily by our troops who stand ready at a moments notice.
God Bless America  

Yeager Who?

Lena and Jacob

I had a friend remind me today that my blog was a little behind.  A little behind?  She was being kind.  She said she hadn't read about Princess Lena's 21st birthday and she was scolding me (in a nice way) that I needed to get on that.  In usual fashion, I could make excuses but this time I have a good one!  Ashley's wedding has totally consumed me!  Putting that aside for awhile I am going to focus on my baby's birthday.  August 25, 1990 was a beautiful day and By and I had every intention of going to a wedding.  Byron's friend Chuck was getting married and though I was 9 months pregnant I felt like a million bucks.  Needless to say, we never made it to the wedding because (aided by the railroad tracks in Monon) my water broke on the way to the wedding! I "knew" I was having a boy because this pregnancy had been so different from the first.  Yes, I "knew" I was having a boy and I even "knew" his name was Yeager Byron.  I had seen "him" several times in my mind and I had loved  "him"  unconditionally for the nine months I carried "him".  I was so thrilled that we were going to have a son to go with our beautiful daughter!  I was so excited that I had actually gone into labor with "him" on my dad's birthday.  That was an extra special thing and I knew it would make an unbreakable bond between grandfather and grandson!  Ah it was perfect!  Labor was quick, again very unlike the first time, and I actually was enjoying the process.  So, you can imagine our surprise when Dr. Sunkel announced that "he" was a GIRL!  A big, healthy, 21", 8 and 1/2 pound BEAUTIFUL GIRL!  Girl? Wait, that can't be.  Did he say Girl?  Oh my goodness and suddenly there we were, Byron and I looking at each other in disbelief because we "knew" all along that SHE was a HE!  Possibly it was because we had thought she was a boy that she became such a girly girl.  She was, is and will always be a princess.  The one thing that never changed and never disappointed was the relationship between SHE and HER grandfather.  Close as two peas in a pod, they loved to spend time together.  Right up until the day he passed away.  And without fail, every year on THEIR birthday he would sing the Baby Llama song to her.  A song that she learned early in life and would sing to him whenever she had the chance.

Many moons have passed since that day in August and her life has taken many twists and turns.  She has had trials and triumphs, both of which have made her into the beautiful young lady she is today.  They say it is the big milestones in life that shape you.  The birthdays,  graduations, getting a drivers license, and yes, turning 21.  But I believe it is the small things that have impacted Lena the most.  The lessons at the kitchen sink,  snuggling with her daddy on the couch when she was 3 and didn't feel well and maybe...no, certainly singing the Baby Llama song with her Grandpa.  We are so very proud of the sweet, silly, caring, precious woman that she has become and now we look fondly back and ask..."Yeager who"?

Sweet Summertime....

We are in the middle of a heatwave!  Yesterday in the great state of Indiana we hit the 100 degree mark for the first time since 1988.  Let me put this in perspective for you.  In July of 1988 my oldest daughter Ashley was 6 months old.  Ashley is now 23 and is getting married!  Now there is a time lapse for you....
The weather is hot and it is sticky and I am really trying not to complain about it bcause I am the same one complaining when it is cold outside.  There are some great things that come along with summer and heat.  The first being lightning bugs.  For me that is a sure sign that summer has arrived!  I love watching them come up out of the cornfileds that surround our home.  And speaking of cornfields, we are surrounded by them this summer.  Right now we are literally living in the middle of a cornfield!  It has been a few years since we have had corn on all 4 sides of our property.  It does make for a peaceful time and great conversations for people who have never been to our home before.  Other signs of summer are those wonderful BBQ's and cookouts with friends and neighbors.  The annual Bowman Bash was tons of fun again this summer!  I do believe I have the best neighbors ever!  The Smith's have called me twice now to remind me that the green beans are ready and I need to go up and pick some to can.  Sweet corn will soon be ready and who can resist that?  Butter dripping down your chin and ruining one of your favorite tank tops!  In the words on my writing mentor John Norberg, "if you don't ruin at least two shirts this summer you are not having enough fun!"
The county fair just finished up and because of the heat attendance was pretty low.  White County was blessed to have one more performace granted to us by local country music star DJ Miller.  Due to the fact that he has signed with an agent he is no longer able to perform for our county fair.   
Many of our friends children had an awesome fair.  Meg Shaffer pulled in many ribbons, plaques and trophies.  Blayne Vandeveer had a great first year in 4-H doing well in hogs and goats.  He won so much in fact, that he mirrored Ashley's 1st year  to a T!   We had a long talk with his parents and reminded them to teach him how to lose.  Ashley won so early and often that when she did get beat she had a hard time accepting it.  It was hot fair week and I didn't HAVE to be at the fair but we did eat down there most every night and enjoyed seeing friends and family....Other summertime favorites included have a fire in the back yard and having friends over to make s'mores.  The Tiede girls were home and had friends with them...it just doesn't get much better than that.  Yes, it's hot but it just makes me appreciate the cool rain that is gently falling now so much more!  Think I will just set on the porch swing and take it all in!  Enjoy your summer!

Meeting at Don's...

A few months ago a friend and I decided (via facebook) that we should plan a reunion of sorts at the old drive in where we used to hang out when we were kids.  We started a facebook group to see just how many people we could get to show up to just eat a burger and shoot the ....crap...  Much to our surprise the response was a bit overwhelming.  We had about 50 people say they would try to attend.  Unfortunately that night the weather was aweful and our crowd was a bit smaller than we had hoped for.  At any rate, the group of us that did show up had a great time.  Looking through year books, introducing our spouses, kids and grandkids, and just catching up.  We are so hoping that we will be able to do it again next year with a larger group of people and much better weather!
 
Looking back on the group of us that were there I would say we were all pretty much the same as we were all those years ago.  Of course the "men" among us were a little more gray (or bald) from what I could tell.  Some of them hid underneath a ball cap so I was left to speculate about what was or wasn't underneath it!  The women, well we were all fabulous!  The men laughed that off saying it was the hair color and I for one had NO IDEA what they were talking about!   I caught up with Debby Denton Hall who was as sweet as I remember her being in high school.  Annetta McCarty Alt was there with her kids in tow and I am fairly certain that at some point in time Annetta and must have been seperated at birth.  We have so very much in common and I had a great time talking with her.  Jen Davis, whom I literally grew up with, was there and she has not changed one single bit!  Still the charming smile and personality that she always was.  I was lucky enough to get to see Brian Mathis and meet his wife and small army of children.  They were adoreable but I would expect nothing less from Brian as he was always adoreable himself!  John Shafer was there and what can I say about John?  He hadn't changed one bit, still has a heart of gold.   He had 3 of his 5 children with him and I was blessed to be able to meet them.   We placed a phone call to a couple people to include them in the gathering and I for one was super happy to talk to Lori Stroll Myers.  I wish she had been with us but the trip from Pennsylvania was too much to make to eat a burger.  Not everyone felt like the trip was too long to make as Wayne Baskett drove from Tennessee to be there for the night.  Considering he was the friend who helped me make this a reality I was more than happy to see his face.  I really didn't get to spend any quality time with him to thank him for the help but I am sure he knows that everything he did was appreciated.  Dennis Wooton was there and in a strange twist we discovered that his nephew was graduating from the same school as my godson Jake and I was able to see him for just a moment on graduation night.  There were others there that all deserve a mention but if I did that I would never get to the end of this blog. 

Driving over to the drive in "Don's"  I just kept thinking about how much I missed my hometown and how I never get over there anymore, except to stop at the cemetary.  However, once I got there, I realized it wasn't my childhood hometown that I missed.  It was my childhood...I drove home that night in rain and cried the whole way  wishing that somehow I could freeze the night and never leave it.  Life moves fast and it wasn't until that night that I fully came to understand just how fast it moves.  The memories that I have of growing up in Newton county are priceless.  I had perhaps the best childhood ever.  I spent countless hours popping tar bubbles with the Agent girls, riding bikes with Mary and then running around in cars with Lisa and Gail.  They say you can never go back and I would agree with that but I will hold dear to every single memory that I can wrap my mind and heart around.   Thanks guys for a FABULOUS evening.  I am already looking forward to the next one! 

I thought all of my kids had graduated from high school

When Lena graduated from high school I knew I had two years before my godson Jake would graduate.  Two years...where have they gone?  Lena just finished her sophomore year of college and Jake is graduating from high school next Friday night.  We are planning his graduation open house and I am happy to say that I have finished his photo dvd as of about an hour ago.  There is still alot to do and we will be busy doing it all weekend.  Cooking, cleaning and decorating are all on the to do list.  Jake's mother April is stressed to the max and cannot wait for it to be over.  I have assured her that no on is going to notice if the bathroom walls are not freshly painted.  Truth of the matter is that people hardly notice the things that you work the hardest on.  When Ashley graduated we did  a complete makeover on our house.  New floors, fresh paint, remodeled bathroom...and new landscaping.  I will say the landscaping was the only thing that anyone really noticed.  It was hot that day and the only thing people noticed was that the drink containers were empty.  I stressed for weeks over food, decorations, the house and the lawn and came to realize that no one really cares.  So, when it was Lena's turn I took a different approach.  I cleaned the house the day before the party, cleaned the garage about a week before and just let it all happen.  We so enjoyed the party because there was no stress.  Jake being my 3rd I am thinking it will be even more enjoyable.  It is just nice to be with friends to celebrate such a monumental occasion.   So congratulations Jake David Esposito.  I am very proud of you.  I know that  God has a plan for you and will guide your path.  Never forget where you came from because it will always be here waiting for you with open arms.  Don't be afraid to spread your wings.  It's a big world and you need to see and experience it all!  Most of all remember that you are loved.

Make a Difference Monday

Here I am again trying to explain my absence in the empty nest.  I have no good excuse and really shouldn't even try to pretend that I do.  I just simply haven't taken the time to sit down and blog what is happening in my life and in my mind.  I do have so very much to tell you!  Life is moving at light speed and Ashley's wedding will be here before we know it.  We have been working on plans and they are coming along nicely.  I spent last weekend in Evansville helping Princess Lena move into her new "grown up" apartment.  No more roommates, dorm rooms or shared space with her sister!  Lena is now the proud resident of Copper Creek Apartments on the west side of the 'Ville!  Her decorating savey would impress the best design on a dime show and I have to admit...She impressed her Momma.  She purchased everything (second hand) all on her own.  She had a vision for what she wanted her apartment to look like and I would say she pulled it off in a BIG way! 

How, you ask, does this fit into the title of Make a Difference Monday?  Well, I left Evansville on Monday and headed home.  It was a beautiful, warm, practically perfect day so I decided to stop in Terre Haute and do a little dress shopping for the wedding.  Pretty uncharacteristic of me to stop but something just told me I needed to.  Perhaps it was to find a dress for the wedding or perhaps it was something bigger.  I did find a dress, picked out by a complete stranger who offered me his "man opinion" !  As I got back in my car, I noticed a girl probably about the same age as mine, standing outside the store crying her little heart out.  I noticed her and that was about it.  I got in the car and drove out of the parking lot.  Well, sort of.  I started to pull back onto the highway and the Lord just compelled me to turn my car around and go back.  I know I startled her when I approached her but I just said to her..."Honey, I have no idea what you are dealing with but I want you to know that it is really going to be okay".  I asked her if she needed a hug and she shook her head yes and just began sobbing on my shoulder.  She told me that she had just found out that the store she works at is closing and that she would soon be out of a job.  She had just moved to a new apartment and had no idea how she was going to pay for it.  We sat on a bench and I just held her hand and told her that sometimes, life isn't what you have planned.  God has a bigger plan and sometimes what seems horrible at the time is really just a stepping stone to something so much better.  We sat there for the longest time and just chatted.  I am sure that I was there in that mall looking for a dress because the Lord knew she needed me and the funny thing is, I think I needed her!  We parted and I realized I never got her name or gave her mine but at that point it really didn't matter.  What mattered was that for that brief moment of time we were together which is exactly what God had planned. 

Reason, Season, Lifetime...

This is not an original blog.  While I would love to claim it as my own I have to give credit where credit is due.  I searched the internet and have found many differnt people claiming to be the author of this very moving piece of work.  So I will state that the author is UNKNOWN...What I do know about this poem is that it rings very true to my life.  It makes me happy when I am sad.  It gives me answers to my question, Why? 

So Are You A Reason, Season, or a Lifetime?


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

� Author Unknown

I hope it touches all of you as much as it has blessed me!

1 Post 2 Days

I have decided to combine 2 days is one post.  January 28th is a special day because it is the birthday of my Momma.  I have written numerous posts about what a great Mother, Friend, Mentor, and Person that she was.  I just can't say enough how much I miss her.  Daily I wish she were here for one reason or another.  I wish I had taken just a little more time with her on January 28, 2002 but I didn't.  I never dreamed on January 30, 2002 she would be gone.  Gone from my life but never from my heart.  Never miss the opportunity to tell the people you love just exactly how much you love them.  You have this second, right now and not another one is guaranteed, life is short so make the very most of every MoMent you have!

 January 30, 2002 is a day that is etched in my mind.  I remember it as if it were yesterday.  I remember it was a Thursday.  I recall the knock on my office door and remember being annoyed and wondering who was interrupting my day.  I remember seeing my sister and my husband and then my world went black.  The next few day were a blur.  I remember my mother in law going to the grocery store for me and taking care of my babies because I just couldn't function well enough to do that myself.  I was mad.  Really mad.  I yelled at God and told him I was only 24 and I still needed my mother.  How was I supposed to be a good mother with no one to teach me?  How could my girls grow up to be beautiful young women without their grandmother there to teach them?  What about my Dad?  Who would take care of him the way my Mother did?  Over the past 19 years God has answered most of those questions.  My Dad remarried a wonderful lady named Linda.  I obviously had learned enough from her to be a good mother and the girls learned from me how to be fabulous young women.  Actually, they are better young women than I ever hoped to be!  Indeed, God has answered my questions and he dealt with my anger and I am so blessed to have a Lord and Savior who never once turned his back on me when I yelled and screamed at him.  He let me be angry and all the while he held me in the palm of his hand.  I do appreciate the the Lord has provided me with answers I just now need peace.  I still cry way too much and I still miss my Momma beyond belief.  I was talking to my best friend last night and he told me to just find peace.  I think he meant that as a wish for me, because he knew how my heart was hurting.  Find Peace?  How do you do that?  That is my path now, to find peace and comfort in knowing that my Momma is in a place far more beautiful than this earthly home.  I know this home is just temporary.  I know that someday I will be reunited with all those that have gone to heaven before me.  Until then I have to find peace and I have to find comfort in knowing that they are in a far better place than me.   The Lord gave me the answers and I now know 19 years later that he is where I will find peace.

Words of WISDOM....teeth

Currently you are finding me in Evansville Indiana.  Home of the Universtiy of Southern Indiana and the home of Ashley and Lena Tiede, better known to many in Northern Indiana as "THE TIEDE GIRLS".    I made the four and a half hour trip down here on Wednesday to be with the oldest Tiede girl, Ashley while she had her wisdom teeth surgically removed.  Surgery was Thursday and it went very well.  I think it even surprised the surgeon how well it went.  He spoke to us at great length prior to beginning the procedure and stressed to us the severity of the impaction.  He walked us through taking out the top teeth which had roots that protruded into her sinus cavity and then through the bottom two which the roots crossed a main nerve in the jaw.  He told us that if he happened to touch that nerve while removing the teeth she could have numbness in the lower jaw for up to a year.  Not what this nervous Nellie needed to hear!   Thankfully, all went well and we made it home just fine.  We have both been in this 800 sq foot apartment for the past two days now and I don't know about Ashley but I am beginning to exhibit the signs of cabin fever.  Rarely does it snow much more than and inch or two at a time down here but this week it decided to snow about 4 inches and the temperature is a balmy 12 degrees.  Now for me that is not too bad because it typically runs a little cooler up North.  Yes, we are in the same state but believe it or not the weather is actually a little warmer down here.  EXCEPT when I come to town.
Evansville is a beautiful city, full of things to do and places to go.  Built on the river it is just a stones throw, literally from the great state of Kentucky and only 2 hours from Nashville Tennessee.  Their are so many beautiful homes along the river that have stood for hundreds of years.  This is truly a city rich in culture and history.  Both girls have made this their home and seem to really enjoy living the city life.  It is a little difficult for me to be down here because of the time change. For the kids, I get up way too early and I go to bed way too early.  I do believe that they enjoy having me around and I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that there has been no fast food in the past 3 days!
Ashley is doing great after surgery.  Her little cheeks are swollen and she resembles what could be the little sister of Chip and Dale!  Today her sense of humor kicked in if even for a moment, I could tell she was feeling better!  Tony has been off work for the past day because of the weather so honestly there has not been alot for me to do.  I am certain that he believes I baby her way too much and I know that is the truth but if a mother can't baby her 23 year old child...who can?  I said yesterday, I am not sure who needed who more.  Ashley needing her mommy to be here or her mommy needing to be here for her.  I told a friend yesterday that it does feel good to be needed again.  And it was at that point I was told I had empty nest syndrome.  I have known that for a long time....thus the name of my blog....guess my friend needs to catch up!  While I may be pathetic and still have those maternal instincts that need to be exercised, I know that life does go on.  I am just happy that life is moving in the right direction for both of my girls...and I am thankful for the blessings that the Lord provides me with EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Oh goodness, I cannot let this blog get published without mentioning my niece Lindsey Marie Barkho.  Today is her birthday.  Lindsey is a beautiful young woman whom I am so very proud of.  She was just not quite a year old the first time I met her.  It is not surprising to me that she has turned out to be a strong, beautiful, fabulous young lady.  I love you Lindsey!  Happy Birthday.  NOTE:  Lindsey is the 3rd birthday in the string of EVERY Seven Days Birthdays in January......

Remembering Joe

Today is my big brothers birthday.  I left a little note on my Facebook page remembering the day and the man that was my brother.  But I believe my sister, Kathy, said it best on her Facebook status, sometimes she just has a way with words that seems to escape me.  Her status read :  Today...My big brother would have been the big 50. Love him, or hate him...you always knew where you stood with him....and I miss him! From here to heaven, I love you, Joe. Happy Birthday!    She is so right about that...you always knew where you stood with him.  As I recall there was no gray area with him.  It was either black or white.  He either liked you or he didn't and if he didn't he wasn't afraid to tell you.  

Being 5 years younger than him our lives seemed to be one of those ships that pass in the night moments.  When he was a Senior in high school, I was a seventh grader. I was the kid sister that was more of a pain in the butt than anything else.  I remember him moving out and getting his "own life",  and I vividly recall him coming in and telling my parents that his girlfriend Bonnie was pregnant.  I was angry with him for causing my parents such heartache but also remember how much they loved Amy when she was born.  He was a hard worker and tried to provide for his family but like a lot of young married couples it just didn't work.  I don't think that blame can be placed on only one of them.  They were both young and both needed to grow on their own.  Time went quickly for me at that point.  Joe and Bonnie had another baby, Ryan and shortly after they divorced.  I went on with my life and today looking back I wish I had spent more time with him and got to know him better.  They say, hindsight is 20\20 and I would agree whole heartedly with that.  He moved on farther north of home and then to Arizona.  He would come home for visits on occasion and I would always manage to see him even it were for 15 minutes.  I think the problem is I just never understood his life.  I never understood the moving around, the different relationships and the lifestyle that he chose.  I didn't judge his life I just didn't understand it.  Years passed and he became ill.  Some of it was genetics, some of it was lifestyle but ultimately he lost the battle.  It always seemed to me that he was battling  something.   

He was smart.  Really smart.  He could have done anything and been anything he wanted to be.  I remember him breaking his arm in a car wreck and wanting to be an orthopedic surgeon like the one who fixed his arm.  I don't know why that never happened.  I guess the Lord just had other plans.  So today, on the 50th anniversary of his birth I hope that through all the turmoil that was his life he has found peace.  Peace for his spirit and peace for his soul.  I have no doubt that he is in heaven because regardless of the path he took he knew that there was a God and he knew what he had to do to spend eternity with him.  Happy Birthday big brother, till we meet again in the house of the Lord.  I do love you, more than you will ever know.  

Happy Birthday Ashley Marie Tiede

January 7, 1988 was the day that I became a Mommy for the first time.  Ashley Marie Tiede came into the world as a 5 pound 7 ounce 17 inch screaming bundle of joy!  Her arrival came at 6:21 pm on a Thursday in Lafayette Indiana.  I had landed in the hospital because of preeclampsia on Monday prior to her birth.  I remember calling Byron and telling him that I had just seen the Dr. in Rensselaer and he was sending me to Lafayette to see a specialist.  Never thinking that I would end up in the hospital I drove myself down there.  I was seen by Dr. Mentzer at the Womans Clinic and I will never forget the words he said to me.  "Mrs. Tiede, I am calling the hospital and making arrangements to have you admitted.  You are not getting out of the hospital until your blood pressure comes down or you have a baby".  I was 21 years old and scared beyond belief!  Before the days of cell phones, I asked if I could call Byron.  I was able to reach him at the egg farm and I told him he needed to come to the hospital when he got off work.  There was no need to hurry but I did need him to be there with me.  I remember crying when he got there and crying when he left that night to go home.  It was the first night since we had been married that we had not slept in the same bed.  I recall asking him not to leave but duty called and he had to work the next day so...there I was in the hospital, alone and completely out of my mind with worry.  Scared to go through labor, scared that I had done something to harm the little baby that was growing inside me and scared to become a Mommy.   The next day pretty much passed with no events.  The blood pressure was under control with medication and the Dr, had decided to see what would happen if he stopped the IV.  Well, it medication was stopped and sure enough the blood pressure began to climb again.  Thursday morning the Dr. came in to check on me and told me he was going to break my water.  UMMM "No" that was not happening without Byron being with me.  He assured me that Byron would have plenty of time to get there and that labor would not be immediate.  Agreeing to go through with the procedure I completely freaked out when they broke out this tool that looked like a giant crochet hook!  The whole process took less than a couple minutes and the water was broken but no contractions.  At noon, Dr. Mentzer decided that an IV of pitocin would do the trick,  This time I stood firm that there would be no medication given until Byron arrived.  He did arrive shortly after noon and the IV was hooked up.  Contractions began and got more frequent.  I remember nurses coming in and out of the room for several hours keeping a close eye on the fetal monitor, making sure that baby Tiede was not having any distress.  At about 4:00 I recall a kitchen person coming in with my dinner and saying, " oh, you're in labor, you can't eat this food"  Byron agreed to finish it off for me!  At about 5:00 Byron's Aunt Millie just happened to stop by the hospital for a visit.  I recall hearing them in the hallway having a conversation.  Byron told she and her daughter Cori that if they would go get some food, that we would most likely have a baby by the time they got back.  Sure enough he was right.  I remember the Dr. asking me if I wanted pain medication in the form of a spinal block and I said heck no...I was not fond of the idea of having a needle stuck into my spine.  I would endure the labor pains and have this baby naturally.  The pains did get closer and more intense and I remember being extremely relived when they said I could push.  At that point it really didn't take long and at 6:21 pm our beautiful baby girl arrived.  She was tiny, far smaller than I had ever seen a newborn baby, but the Dr.s all said that she was healthy, just small.   Looking at her I couldn't believe she was mine (ours) but mine....  She was beautiful, well not really she was little and wrinkled and had one perfect spot of blood right on the very top of her head.  This is a fact that Cori still reminds me of today!  We didn't have a name picked out and I just looked at Byron and asked him why we didn't have a name selected.  It doesn't seem to me that we sat around and tossed names out there.  Part of me thinks that we didn't do that because of Byron losing Candy and Allison in the car accident.  I think he was afraid to give her a name before she actually arrived for fear something would take her away from us.   To this day I am not really sure where Ashley came from.  Marie is a middle name that is shared by many of the Tiede / Cade granddaughters.  Marie is Byron's mothers middle name.  I remember waking up at 10:30 and getting out of bed.  I walked down the hall of the hospital and ran into a nurse who asked me why I was up and where I was going.  I was going to the nursery to see my baby.  She told me I had to go back to my room and that the baby was fine.  She mentioned that she loved the name we had chosen.  Name?  What name?  To my knowledge there had been no name chosen for her.  She said, "your husband is in the nursery rocking her and calling her Ashley Marie.  Ashley Marie?  I guess it did have a ring to it,  and I remember walking back to my room and writing the name on a napkin that was on the night stand beside the bed.  Ashley, Ashleigh, Ashlee,,,how was it spelled?   It was just a few minutes before they brought both she and Byron to my room.  They were both perfect, and I could tell that Byron was head over heals in love with her.  We decided on Ashley because we didn't want people to have to guess how to spell her name and Ashley was the most common spelling at the time.   Friday January 8th, my mom and sister came to the hospital to see us.  They didn't stay long and I was disappointed when they left but they returned later with clothes that they had bought for her at the toy store in the mall.  The sleeper that I had picked out to bring her home in was 3 sizes too big for her tiny little body.  Thankfully cabbage patch dolls were still the rage in 1988 and Ashley would be well dressed for the first year of her life because of that.  There was a lady who lived in our town, not far from us, who made doll clothes and I was able to buy enough outfits to dress her very well for very little money.  My favorite outfit was a little blue jogging suit that had the fisher price logo on it, it is stored in the hope chest at the foot of our bed and on January 7th I know that I will pull it out, wipe a couple tears away and thank God for the beautiful woman that she is today at the age of 23.  Yes, 23 years have passed and I am not sure where they went.  I can see many dates, like the date of her birth, very clearly in my mind.  Other dates just seem to be a blur. Together we had many ups and downs.  Ashley never disappointed us.  She was a handful at times but nothing that couldn't be dealt with.  She was hard to discipline because she learned at an early age to hide emotion.  I remember at times intentionally trying to make her cry because I felt like she needed to and wanted to but just couldn't.  I always knew if I made her cry I had gotten my point across.  Today Ashley is a beautiful young woman with a wonderful career as a respiratory therapist.  She has found the man that she will be spending the rest of her life with and will marry him on September 24, 2011.  Her life is really just beginning and I can honestly say that I can't wait to see what God has in store for her in the next few years!  I love you Ashley Marie Tiede, you are the joy and light of my life!  I pray that every dream you have comes true and that you will always know how very much you are loved!