1 Post 2 Days

I have decided to combine 2 days is one post.  January 28th is a special day because it is the birthday of my Momma.  I have written numerous posts about what a great Mother, Friend, Mentor, and Person that she was.  I just can't say enough how much I miss her.  Daily I wish she were here for one reason or another.  I wish I had taken just a little more time with her on January 28, 2002 but I didn't.  I never dreamed on January 30, 2002 she would be gone.  Gone from my life but never from my heart.  Never miss the opportunity to tell the people you love just exactly how much you love them.  You have this second, right now and not another one is guaranteed, life is short so make the very most of every MoMent you have!

 January 30, 2002 is a day that is etched in my mind.  I remember it as if it were yesterday.  I remember it was a Thursday.  I recall the knock on my office door and remember being annoyed and wondering who was interrupting my day.  I remember seeing my sister and my husband and then my world went black.  The next few day were a blur.  I remember my mother in law going to the grocery store for me and taking care of my babies because I just couldn't function well enough to do that myself.  I was mad.  Really mad.  I yelled at God and told him I was only 24 and I still needed my mother.  How was I supposed to be a good mother with no one to teach me?  How could my girls grow up to be beautiful young women without their grandmother there to teach them?  What about my Dad?  Who would take care of him the way my Mother did?  Over the past 19 years God has answered most of those questions.  My Dad remarried a wonderful lady named Linda.  I obviously had learned enough from her to be a good mother and the girls learned from me how to be fabulous young women.  Actually, they are better young women than I ever hoped to be!  Indeed, God has answered my questions and he dealt with my anger and I am so blessed to have a Lord and Savior who never once turned his back on me when I yelled and screamed at him.  He let me be angry and all the while he held me in the palm of his hand.  I do appreciate the the Lord has provided me with answers I just now need peace.  I still cry way too much and I still miss my Momma beyond belief.  I was talking to my best friend last night and he told me to just find peace.  I think he meant that as a wish for me, because he knew how my heart was hurting.  Find Peace?  How do you do that?  That is my path now, to find peace and comfort in knowing that my Momma is in a place far more beautiful than this earthly home.  I know this home is just temporary.  I know that someday I will be reunited with all those that have gone to heaven before me.  Until then I have to find peace and I have to find comfort in knowing that they are in a far better place than me.   The Lord gave me the answers and I now know 19 years later that he is where I will find peace.